It’s… what, month 1.5… hell, time goes so fast but it’s only been a month and a half. This week that I just had was slow… really, REALLY slow… seems ages ago that it was TAFM and I was talking with Chibi. Speaking of which, she’s doing alright, I suppose. Interesting Skype convos are interesting. But I just noticed something. I’m no longer chasing after D and Ash and Alen- not trying to place myself in their paths, nor trying to avoid them to test their reactions. We just coexist now. It makes me wonder- did we so readily, so easily, forget one another?

D, Ash, Alen- well, I still have my feelings for Alen, but they’re no longer dictating me- and the others- I guess if we could shrug each other off so easily, so casually, then we were never really friends. Or maybe we were, but it had faded away. But I’m glad I met Chibi, glad that I decided to break out of this self-pitying state even before I met her, and I’m just glad that I decided to actually reforge myself instead of being the weak, indecisive person I once was.

There’s a lot of things that, when I step back and look, I can see that I missed. Some of it amuses me, some if it sickens me, and I sometimes even scare myself from the… changes I’m going through. Such as how I get angrier more easily. Such as how I’m more ready to strike out physically than before. Such as how my bitterness and hatred seem to bubble up more rapidly than ever.
But if that’s the price to pay for immunity to pain, to heartbreak, and to have a purpose in life, I’ll gladly pay it.



~ by Tayath on October 15, 2012.

One Response to “Forgotten”

  1. Are you sure? Existing in bitterness is painful. Is that how you want to find your purpose?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: