Here I am

Hey, WordPress. It’s been a while. I’ve stopped writing, you see. Writing to WordPress, writing my little stories- poems, I still do- and writing in my journal. I’ve become more fragmented. This year’s different, you see. I decided to stop pitying my third-wheel self and just be the little spook in the hallways, always watching and waiting and wondering. I’m steering clear of everyone from my past, for 90% of the week (Except Alen, for obvious reasons), and I’ll just see how that goes.

I do get angry at times. It’s very therapeutic. Problem is I can’t take it out on anything. How sad. Uh, point being, yeah. So…. I’m finishing up Bakemonogatari, which I shall do as tribute to the Argent Peacemaker that started me down this whole path. I don’t know what I’ll do elsewhere and elsewhat, and to me, I’m not reallycaring. I’m apathetic. I honestly, honestly, don’t care. Little quote I made up a few days ago. If I was allowed to punch someone in the eye for every stupid thing they did, some would have black eyes and some would be blind. Charming.

Well… to the main point. There’s some friends that I’ll want to keep after I graduate. There’s some that I’ll want to forget. I want to remember… or not… and there’s times when I just want to lay back and lose it all in nothingness. I realized I haven’t had a hug in weeks. I realized no one’s said ‘it’s going to be alright’ to me in… years. No one’s said that to me in a while. Ever. And… it sickens me. It sickens me. But I’m the spook, so no more self pity, and here I go.

Here we go, Alen. Sean’s… asking you about Homecoming. About us. Me. You. Yeah. I’ll see what happens. Just… I’ll finish telling you after we graduate, after my birthday party (if I even have one, you see, there’s the catch again!), and after you’ve moved far, far away form me so you can’t.. see me. I guess. After the promise is over. And everything in between.

One more year. Here goes.

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~ by Tayath on October 3, 2012.

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