Breaking Point

I’ve tried to hold off the angry ranting for as long as I can, but I can tell it’s not going to help. What’s really getting at me nowadays is just the relative carelessness of the human race. I lost my faith in humanity ages ago, but I think this is what really sealed it in.

I’ve been facing a lot of crap from both my friends and my enemies in recent times, and now I think I’ve been stretched so far that I can’t keep holding it in. Just yesterday I found myself being irrationally angry over just simple things. But those simple things keep compounding and compounding, and eventually they’ll become too large to ignore. Kind of like me, except I can’t do anything except strike out whenever I fade into obscurity. When I’m the one sitting silently in the corner with nothing to say, and nothing to be said to me, the only thing I can really do is stand up, walk away, and hope there’s something else for me to go to.

But there isn’t. My core group of friends treats me like a shadow, albeit an interesting one. Alen’s got his own stuff, and I don’t want to burden him down with things that he can’t really understand, and that would seem trivial to him anyway. I don’t trust anyone else with my thoughts, and given what’s been happening recently that seems perfectly logical.

And now even those who were supposed to be on my side are slowly fading away. The guild I once called home has changed so much I don’t even feel, at times, like staying. The things that have happened, both in real life and in game, have caused me to doubt not only some of my friendships, and all of my relationships in general.

I don’t want to abandon my friends just because of my own bitter emotions. But at the same time, I don’t want to keep feeling like this any more. Maybe it’s best that I’m taking next week off… 


~ by Tayath on April 20, 2012.

One Response to “Breaking Point”

  1. I understand what you’re feeling Xair. A break might be just the thing for you. You might come back with new ideas, new perspective. Who knows, maybe things need to change. 😦

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