Heartbreak, Version 3, AKA 6 Days Remaining

So it’s March 25th, and there’s six days remaining until Sadies. I decided, thanks to a certain incident that will be mentioned later in this rant, to attend it regardless of my friend coming with me or not. The reason I’m going on another tangent in my distraction-filled life is well, because this time I think it’s going to be too much of a bombshell for me to hold just on my own.

There’s a kid at my school who was (in Freshman year) formerly known for disliking/hating/being mean to girls. He’s gotten better over the past two years, and now this year someone asked him to Sadies and he said yes. (And they hugged too, how’s that for total lols?) I’m not mad about that. Hell, I’m so amused that I’m going to the dance just to see if they show up, and what happens if they do! XD

But in all seriousness, even though I feel more than amused and happy for the above ‘couple’, it makes me doubt even more my chances of getting the guy I’ve been chasing. He’s said no to going to Sadies- he’s got to study for Chemistry Olympiad, which he managed to get into Nationals as of yesterday. I’m happy for him, but at the same time I can’t help but wonder if he’s using it as an excuse to avoid me, since Regionals is done and Nationals is at an unknown date. Maybe that explains why he’s been playing Terraria with me so much; just to make me feel better. 

I honestly don’t know anymore. The days have been blurring together, and between all my injuries and the psychological stuff going on in my head I don’t think I can hold together for much longer. There’s another breaking point coming up in my life, and I don’t know where or when but I’m pretty sure it’ll be amusing as usual- in the darkest sense. I’ll probably write about it here, and I pray to God that whatever this point is, it doesn’t involve *him*.

Basketball game in under 9 hours. I’d better get some sleep.

P.S. T.S. Eliot’s poem “The Hollow Men”, the last three stanzas and the final sentence. That is how I feel right now.


~ by Tayath on March 25, 2012.

One Response to “Heartbreak, Version 3, AKA 6 Days Remaining”

  1. This one?

    Between the desire
    And the spasm
    Between the potency
    And the existence
    Between the essence
    And the descent
    Falls the Shadow
    For Thine is the Kingdom

    For Thine is
    Life is
    For Thine is the

    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper.

    And be optimistic xairbear ❤

    Who knows?


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