Going Back

I just finished reading perhaps one of the more poignant novels I will ever read, “Sugar of Lead” by my SAT teacher, Almer John Davis. It’s rather wide-spreading for its’ subject- gang wars- and yet it sums up in 300 pages what I cannot express no matter how long I rant about it.

First off, I guess reading this was both good and bad for me. It gave me a new perspective on attempting to write my own novel- and bad, because now it has truly opened me into the wide range of what I’m missing, and what I have missed.

I’m starting to regret breaking things off with D, or… well, she now prefers to be called by her real name. I got away with calling her ‘D’ or ‘Dianthus’ for two years now; it became her gaming-name, and now I’ve been (in a sense) demoted. Kind of depressing; random gamers using the nickname I made for her, while I’m stuck with… well, whatever her real name is.

Either way, novels and dying friendships don’t seem to go well. Something’s changed between us, and no matter how hard I try I don’t think I’ll ever be able to re-create the relationship we had. It’s kind of sad, because once upon a time when I was more naive and less thoughtful, I honestly believed we’d be what you call ‘Best Friends Forever’.

Maybe I’m just overthinking this. Maybe it’s best that I keep away from her, forever. But either way, I can’t help but wonder… what could happen if I ever go back.

Small Edit: A tad of our conversation went like this

Me: Something’s changed between us
D: Sure. You never TF2 with me and I never SK with you (two games we play, respectively)
 
…honestly, D? Am I really that… well, who knows. All I can say is, ignorance is bliss, only for the ones who are ignorant. For those on the other side… no wonder there is a hell to every heaven.
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~ by Tayath on February 5, 2012.

2 Responses to “Going Back”

  1. I love this.

    Sums up everything.

    Justifies everything.

    GO XAIR ❤

  2. Wait wait what? Almer had a book?! I wanna read it ! Psh, you’re over thinking ~

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